Aww, I suck at titles meself... sometimes it takes me longer to find one than the actual writing of the piece. How 'bout "Ophelia to Oblivion" or "Journey Into the Setting Sun?"

I really like this one (I'm sure the fav was a giveaway)

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'Needed time to clear my mind and breathe the free air, find some peace there. Used to keep my heart in jail but the choice was love or fear of pain and I chose love...'
Anathema - 'Everything'

Thank you. I'll keep the suggested titles in mind. I like the former one best, though I think using Ophelia in the title leans too heavily on a reference that doesn't really have anything to do with the person herself, but rather her despair and following actions.

This is quite an unusual process for me, since I usually think of a title and go "OMG this would be awesome title for a poem/short story!" and then I proceed to the writing of the piece. But this time I simply started writing and now I've ended up lacking a title

Thanks for the fav as well as the help It's greatly appreciated.

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FiH 349 - Yeah, I just started counting. We'll see how it goes.

I dont really have a critique for you, just that this is an amazing piece... But now I must go look up Ophelia and Lear on wikipedia to find out more about them, because I don't know them at all!!!

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"It's burning grip tells me to defeat you! Take this! My love, my anger, and all of my sorrow! SHINING FINGER!"

Thank you very much

Both characters are found in Shakespeare's plays. You'll find Ophelia in Hamlet, you'll find Lear in King Lear (strangely enough) and you'll also find Cleopatra in Antony and Cleopatra. Even the title World's Exile is a quote from Romeo and Juliet:

"There is no world without Verona walls,
But purgatory, torture, hell itself.
Hence-banished is banish'd from the world,
And world's exile is death:"

Have fun with the background reading

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FiH 349 - Yeah, I just started counting. We'll see how it goes.

Ophelia was an interesting read... Now I have an urge to buy/read Hamlet.
As for Lear, I need to look him up again because I didn't know where you got him from!!
Thankies!

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"It's burning grip tells me to defeat you! Take this! My love, my anger, and all of my sorrow! SHINING FINGER!"

I like the fact the fact that you compacted the thought of suicide with both Ophelia and Cleopatra, but of course, if one hasn't read Shakespeare, one wouldn't understand at all.
Now was is Ophelia that came to the water? Or did the water come to Ophelia? Damn gravediggers! Both Ophelia and Cleopatra committed suicide in terms of love, am I right? Although for Ophelia, she was a bit on the tipsy side, nonetheless distraught by her failed romance with Price Hamlet.

You're first stanza, is my favourite. THe use of rhyme is great using flying almost in a stormy day, with grey clouds and no sun, just blue skies and a blue feeling. "Hungry hues", thats awesome alliteration, and such meaning! The depression can and will consume us all if we do nothing about. The first line, captured me, nice alliteration.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

I have a particular fondness for alliterations. Much of the time they're just incredibly hard to work into a poem more than just once in a while. My vocabulary is not yet big enough to be able to make them up for every line

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FiH 349 - Yeah, I just started counting. We'll see how it goes.