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In the shade of the yew
at the castle hill's foot
surrounded by daisies and bees
with red golden anklet
a fair maiden stood
and sighed with trembling knees

She stood and regarded
the great tower's flight,
no action in her contemplation
she fast turned away,
wrapped red gold 'round her neck
and underwent smooth transformation

Where past a fair maiden
sighed heavy and deep
but no one made any remark
so gracefully flew up
with chirping so sweet
a mournfully whistling lark.

The lark swung on high
above towers so tall
and sent to the skies a sad greeting.
A comfort it send to
a melancholy mind
with whistling everso fleeting

In towers then grieved
the princess so mild
and sighed in this time of despair.
Aganst her royal father
a battle so wild
she fought, but was wanting for air.

She looked to the lark
and heard its fair tune
she saw to the woods where it flew.
No day was so dark
no night come so soon
as when no more singing she knew.

The princess she cried
and mourned her despair.
”Why dost thou inflict all this pain?
Without my dearest
I find death more fair.”
She called to the stars – but in vain.

In the forest the melody
rose up and fell
the lark sang out its distress.
The sun was darkened
the heavens did swell
with wind calling out for redress.

The princess she wandered
so aimlessly 'round
in her lonely cage of gold
and deep in her heart
the pain seared her soul
behind stony walls so cold.

But the song in the forest
became more than a song
as thousands of voices joined in
with pleas for the powers
who heard its fair tone
”Please help her, for she is our kin!”

Amongst tomes and scrolls
the princess she sat
'bout ancestral lovers she read
it brougt her no comfort
to know of their plight
though she was in just their stead.

She could not forget
the larksong so sweet
she missed her lover so dearly.
She wished so intently
her dear one to meet
and prayed as ever sincerely.

Her prayers were heard
both far and wide
'mongst roses and lilies in meadows.
Beyond the great forest
the Raven he flew
out from the black mountains' shadows.

The song he had heard
and eyes gleaming bright
he flew on the winds of the storms.
And proudly he soared
on wings of night
over mountains' jagged forms.

The singing he followed
that ballad of pain
of everso cruel a lot.
At last at the edge
of the forest he perched
so black by the lark's darkened spot.

The lark softly sang
of the princess so sweet
the Raven took off for the castle.
He peered through the window
at fingers so soft
so clenched against vile courtly hassle

The Raven he stood
in darkness by glass
and spoke to the princess in earnest
about finding a place
with one's treasured love
he spoke to heart and her yearning.

The princess she listened
to words of advice
to the forest she looked from her bower
in spite of the storm
she left her fine cage,
two birds took off from the tower.

The heavens rejoiced
and the birds sang i out:
”Once we hear lovers in laughter.
Oh, see how they fly
they dance on the wind
the maiden and princess ever after.

At the edge of the forest
two songbirds now fly
and leave their great love as a mark
but never were heard as
diverse melodies
by jubilant blackbird and lark
©2009 *JemimaAslana
:iconjemimaaslana:

Author's Comments

This is the translated version of this: [link]

It's very difficult to translate a ballad with both rhymes and rhythm intact, and this one was no exception. I have not at all managed an exact translation of the original, but I promised someone I'd make the content of the ballad available in her language.

I have attempted to rewrite it so rhymes and rhythm would work at least somewhat decently in English, but it is by no means a consistent result, because I had to be loyal to the content.

The original was written in an attempt to copy the traditional style of the Danish medieval ballad, with the star-crossed lovers, the Raven who shows up time and again in our ballads, and its aid which ma or may not have been any help at all.

And I just had to add the slight twist of it being a lesbian couple, but I guess all of you will already have noticed that :)

I will (probably)not edit this one according to criticism (unless it's a really bloody good correction/idea/whatever), as it is not an original - merely a translation. But if any of you feel you absolutely must say something, go ahead, it might be useful advice to take with me to future endeavours.

Other than that, enjoy! (I hope, in spite of the clumsy translation)

Comments


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:iconmahoutragicqueen:
Nice imagery. English is a bad lanuage for rhyming.

--
Pimping jewelery for a friend: [link]
:iconjemimaaslana:
Well, no, it isn't, really. It's just very hard to translate a poem and keep the rhymes intact. Had it been in English from the get-go it wouldn't have been half as hard :)

And thanks :)
:iconrelvox:
Hey!

Been quite a while since you posted anything (Or I bothered to check DA :P)

I can appreciate how hard it is to translate and keep the rhythm and rhyme in tact from the time I tried (and failed) to translate Invictus to Hebrew.

Anyway, I like this translation :) Eager to read more of your poetry.

[Stanza 4: everso - ever so?.
Stanza 5: Aganst, you forgot an 'i'?)

--
Crimson flames inside me burning
Secret voices scream in pain.
Little spiders softly crawling
In my thought forsaken brain.
:iconjemimaaslana:
everso is acceptable as one word - though rarely used nowadays. The other was a spelling error I must have missed. Thanks :)
:iconthezpy:
You actually translated it very well, I know how hard it is to translate Poetry, so that both the rhymes and the message in the work is executed with as much grace as in the original language....
There's another great thing about translating, it's like reading a fresh piece, I actually had as big a thrill as, when I read the first one ^^

--
"Life is an art and art is a way of life".
~Zpy

It seem's quiet, but it's not....
It tells a story, express emotions
It twist's reality and binds the motions
It seem's quiet, but it's not.....
~Zpy
:iconjemimaaslana:
Thanks very much for the kind comment.

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